i think i might as well be "emo" atleast i wouldn't have to bottle up all my emotions like a shook up can of pop about to blow. i'm so sick of everything always draging me down. everytime i dont think about anything i'm so mellow and whenever i start to think i get all pissed off or sad or whatever. everything that causes stress. and it's not the good kind of stress either...if there is such a thing. it's the bad kind the kind that causes ulsers and stress pimples. trust me i get them all the time. which is why i praise on photomonipulation. i dont know. i just need someone to calm me down sometimes. I'm so sick of looking, searching, fearing, hating, and so much more. i'm sick of the stress everything puts on me. and i'm sick of the people that cause me pain. all of my friends... none of them help at all. it's really annoying. okay maybe Kasey. but he's never actually seen the real me. he's my best friend and he doesn't know what goes on in my head except for the stupid things that i accidentally blurt out of no where. my life is a stupid song that no one understands but they love the beat so they listen to it over and over again... but do they actually listen? i dont think so... never to the words, just to the beat. and they watch the images in there heads. that doesn't help much. i guess i'll never understand. but like one of my favorite songs says, i feel myself disposed to the public, like an animal at the zoo, with everone passing by, no one paying attention. i'm Ignored. By everyone and myself.
chao.